Sunday, January 27, 2013

5 Tips for an Ecstatic Birth

How is it that some women feel like birth was a horrifically painful experience, and others describe it as ecstatic or even orgasmic?

My mother describes her first birth of my brother in 1956 as ecstatic. She had found a doctor who actually supported "natural" childbirth, and 'allowed' her to labor and birth without drugs or serious interventions. Despite the fact that her husband was not with her, nor any other known support, apparently the doctor and nurses gave her verbal support, and she felt flooded with good feelings and love when my brother was being born.

On the other hand, when I was born, she was in a different hospital, and she got the generic violent birth of the time: drugs against her will, forcep delivery, and separation of me and her for hours until "feeding time". This was a tragic traumatic experience for us both, and it influenced us both for our whole lives.... (and I"m now 54 years old!)

So How does a woman get to have an ecstatic birth? The stories above reveal the most essential basic need.. The laboring mother needs respect, care, and the space to do what she instinctively knows how to do...given the opportunity to allow instincts to direct. 

There are other pieces to the story, as well.. to increase the potential for that kind of experience:

1. Believe that you can have that type of experience! You have to fill your mind with the imagery of what you want! Do NOT watch all the media imagery of birthing! You know, the type where women are walking around like normal and suddenly they start huffing and puffing and screaming and get carried off to a delivery room somewhere.  
DO watch videos that show the beauty of birthing such as : Orgasmic Birth; Birth as we Know it; Birth into Being; Gentle Birth Choices; MotherTouch: Nurturing Touch for Birth.

2. Tend to the conscious and subconscious fears that are resting low in the background of your mind and belly. .... These fears will arise during birth and can impede the process. Get support to give voice to the fears, and help mitigate and diminish their power over you. They are just thoughts.. and some of them, when spoken will automatically dissipate; others may be are asking for something to be attended to with your attention; and still others may just need to be held with care and acknowledged as part of the unknown. Naming Fears disarms them. Naming them does not mean dwelling on them and feeding them!

3. Take time each day apart from your normal activities to rest, to listen to the wisdom in your belly, and to speak with your baby. Find the song of this baby and sing it daily. Find the song of your heart connected with this baby, and sing it daily. Share it with your support team so that they can sing it for you or with you during birth. Explore those deeper connections to spirit that will help you ride through your experiences of birth.. whatever path the birth takes.

4. Remember that the birth flow, and the baby each have their own rhythm and pathway. Finding the trust in that is critical; can you rest with that knowing, so that whatever happens, you can find your acceptance of what is... knowing that it is a much bigger experience than we can control. There is a new being, this baby, coming onto the earth direct from Source... This baby has its' own story in how she or he comes into the world.

5. Have Touch Times.. when your birth companion, or partner, or friends or family take the time to offer you restful, nurturing touch and massage... rubbing your feet, rubbing your shoulders, gently tractioning your neck, massaging your belly... Any touch that feels good to you, will help release oxytocin, increase good-feeling hormones,  and decrease stress hormones. The more oxytocin and serotonin and endorphins that you produce, the better you will feel, and the more naturally you will sink into a blissful state, before, during and after birth!!!

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